One of the common misconceptions with baneful magick is that it’s all done solely for malicious purposes with direct consequences to harm another. Sometimes those curses are justified, while others are just petty curses. I am not above at all. I’ve petty cursed people. I’ve seriously cursed people and sometimes the results have been significant. I’m not gonna go into that but what I want to talk about is cursing as catharsis because that’s something that doesn’t get discussed nearly enough as it doubles as a healing modality. I did a ritual last night because I’ve felt is this darkness and rage encompassing my heart towards so many things that I’ve been enduring for many years.
The two major sources are the rage in my heart towards the former accountants who basically did my taxes wrong for the first 7 years of my business and then proceeded to lie to me when I questioned them on anything. I didn't trust my intuition, but I am also not an accountant either. For the years we can do amended returns for between federal, state, and the city -- I am probably owed back upwards of $100,000 some of which I may never see in return and there may be a lawsuit involved. I’m still working through a lot of it but this has been the past four years of my life that is pushed me into financial ruin to try to make up for the tens of thousands of dollars that they screwed me over for and then lied about causing me to drain all of my retirement funds, savings from when I sold my house, and I’ve maxed out every credit card and have significant debt. Because of this, I have infinite rage towards them and not only that but for whatever reason the IRS has been sitting on the $22,000 check from the 2021 amended return that I’ve been supposed to get since February and no one can get a hold of anyone at the IRS to figure out why. It has been very rage inducing and very stressful, and I’m barely hanging on by a thread most days.
The other part is my medical mistreatment of my chronic pain by numerous doctors and being pumped full of Cortisone with no clear treatment plan to the point that I’m now diabetic and a high risk cardiac patient on top of how I’ve been treated due to the opioid crisis as anyone with chronic pain is viewed as a drug seeking junkie and treated accordingly. It is horrifying and rage inducing to be told by a “pain management" doctor that I’m wasting his time if he can’t do injections or procedures and that he won't treat me after three months.
Of course, there’s other stuff that is rage inducing, but all of this just clouded my heart tangling it up in the vines of darkness. As a result, I have felt very disconnected from spirit and my practice. There are times that I’m too exhausted to do anything because I’m in pain and I am constantly right knuckling finances, and the stress of everything. What I realized is that I needed to take my power my control back over my own life and in order to do that I needed to curse via catharsis.
The darkness in my heart has been caused by so many other people and circumstances that left me feeling powerless and victimized. Last night, I performed a right of execration with my my patron deity Lucifer and matron deity Lilith, with my ancestors and the Goetic and Dukante hierarchies et al. I let it all out through catharsis to lift this heaviness and darkness from my heart -- and whether anything bad happens to any of these people or not, I don’t particularly care. I hope they they suffer as they have caused my suffering and whether that happens or not I don’t particularly care. I just needed to excise the darkness and rage in my heart towards these people that have caused so much harm for so long in my life -- I woke up today and I feel lighter and stronger, more empowered in my situation and myself, and that is the power of laying a good curse.
Sometimes we curse ourselves with the darkness of our anger and our heart -- I needed to unleash it so that the pain can go elsewhere and elsewhere it went and I am standing in my power. I am not a victim. I am a survivor and I’m going do everything I can to weather the storm and to fight back by any means possible. I am not taking this laying down. I am not a victim anymore. I am the Lilith and Lucifer here in that I am the god-self that they made me. It’s time we take back our power and that’s the lesson. I cursed a whole litanyh of people to reclaim my power and to stand in my power and I regret nothing.