I felt like a victim of circumstance for so long that it became who I was -- a perpetual victim. I did some ritual work recently to reclaim my power and am standing firm as a survivor with a bit of spicy vengeance. Maybe survivor isn’t the best word be fully empowered goddess, an avenging Angel, or embodied demoness, but I am no longer allowing anyone to take my power and victimize me for any reason.
It might seem petty to call out and doxx scammers, but you know what that’s part of me taking back my power and it takes a pretty shitty and irredeemable person to scam a disabled business owner so I have zero fucks to give on whether it makes me look bad as a business owner. I've always struggled as a small business owner with all the mantras. Be professional, not personal... the customer is always right --one of capitalisms great lies — don't make a scene or say anything untoward, and we've been boxed into gilded cages despite not being of the gilded class -- to that I say, fuck that noise.
The world is on fire and the thing that I realize as everything is falling apart in every direction in so many spectacular ways is that we forgotten how to treat each other with kindness, compassion, and understanding, but that only goes so far -- if you are taking food out of my mouth while I’m chewing it then prepare to have your damn fingers bitten off. I’m not going to say OK that’s fine and I don’t want to make a fuss because it might make me look bad. As I said the world is on fire and we are all barely hanging on by a thread and that includes a small business owners and I’m disabled so that thread is pretty thin at this point.
We allow so many people access to take our power to deny us our own sacred sovereignty. As I’ve mentioned in previous post, I feel that way towards my former accountants towards the horrendous medical mismanagement, asshole pain doctors that have made me sicker instead of better and telling me I’m wasting their time. I’m taking my power back and there’s other aspects of that too.
My villain era is shaping up quite nicely if you want to scam me fine, but I’m probably if I’m feeling extra spicy... I might file a fraud charges with your local authorities because if you’re using a stolen credit card you’re committing a crime oops that’s on you or pass along your info to my fellow witchy business owners so they can cancel your orders too for fraud or dirty chargebacks. Again, if you want to scam disabled business owners then prepare for what may come from that and maybe choose wiser and make better life choices.
I’ve had so many shitty doctors that have done nothing to help me only making my health worse -- well I’m going leave as many 1 star reviews for you and your practice in every possible place that I can. I’ve never once had a doctor tell me that I was wasting his time trying to get my pain managed because he can’t use me as a human pin cushion and basically gave me the choice of choose between using your hands and being able to stand up and walk. I will be doing that with my former accountants as well. This will be done in a way that would not be considered as libel, slander, or harassment. I’m just going to tell my story and that’s the truth.
On the pain management front because I’ve been tossed around like a hot potato and I guess I’m guessing at this point that I’m probably flagged as 'drug seeking' as a result because no one wants to answer any questions or will treat my chronic pain. They just keep bouncing me and turfing me from place to place so I finally had to take my own power and control back. Once things are settled, I’m going to be sharing my full pain management journey. It’s all I can do. I probably don’t have any legal recourse but because I don’t know how I would prove malpractice, even though I was made diabetic by excessive Cortisone injections without ever being advised that that was possible, etc.. I’ve harped on about that quite a lot, and I’m gonna be butt hurt about that one for a while and annoyed.
But this is where I’ve started taking back my power. I reported the physiatry department at the health system to the internal patient relations department that handles such complaints. I had an intake with Spring Health where I do my therapy through, and I reported that last therapist I had who was horrible -- if I was not in a underlyingly stable mental state, he would’ve made me a suicide risk by his lack of care and telling me that my expectations are too high and getting my pain managed because no one cares, but that’s not what you say to someone in a medical crisis so I reported them and found a new therapist.
Let’s talk about the Karen of it all. I am not excusing the racist, transphobic homophobic asshole CYA Next Tuesday Karen’s because fuck them. What I’m talking about is the rest of us who have to speak up, who have to talk to the manager ,who have to who have to leave shitty reviews because this is how we are treated I’m Gen X and 51 years old and all my life I’ve still had to kick and scream my way through getting anything done and being taken seriously and getting the patriarchy to fucking listen and the "patriarchy has no gender" (quote by bell hooks)
There’s a time and place for everything and sometimes you have to get loud. Sometimes you have to take back your power from those who take or try to take it from you. I’m in embodied and empowered goddess mode and 'I pity the fool' who treads upon my sacred sovereignty again.
Actions have consequences.