Today, I find myself challenged and not necessarily in the best of ways. I’m having a pain flare with neuropathy that makes my hand it hard to use my hands. I am behind on wholesale orders that need to go out. I still have to pay rent this month, but I have to stop in the middle of my day to message my rheumatologist about a medication change and schedule an appointment with a new pain clinic. I should note that my AuDHD hates making phone calls.
If I’m late on getting orders out, it’s not because I’m an asshole, or having bad business practices. It means I’m human and right now - I’m in pain so it’s 1 PM and I’m taking my outgoing parcels to the post office so I can come home and take something for the pain. Maybe, I’ll get some work done later if the pain subsides enough for me to be functional, but it is what it is and I am doing the best I can, but I have to prioritize my health and wellbeing above all else and sometimes that is challenging.
I had to contact a new pain clinic because the one I have been going to has been denying me care over a billing issue. I had a bill go to collections last year because I have many medical bills and that happens sometimes. However, the collections agency didn’t have my correct address so I never got the bill.
The pain clinic refuses to make an appointment because of the outstanding debt and until it’s paid -- I paid the debt to the collection agency and they gave me a confirmation number to give the pain clinic so I can schedule an appointment. I call back them and they have to call the collection agency to confirm it despite the fact that I already gave them a confirmation number -- and now we are entering week three of waiting for them to get confirmation from the agency. I called last week and they told me that 'we’re still waiting, but you’re the top of our list priority."
The last straw has been broken so hence starting the whole process of going to a new pain clinic. The health system that I am in does not in any way prescribe any type of opioids maybe unless you’re having surgery, if you need to be on opioids for any reason you have to go to an outside pain clinic and its a process where I’m going to have to get all my doctors to send in scans, all their notes, procedures etc. I originally stopped going to them last summer when they botched up the insurance process for my SI joint injections and cancelled the appointment the day before the procedure. I spent a whole day screaming my way through my insurance to find out that - the clinic just needed to provide more information like does it reduce my pain and am I willing to do physical therapy exercises. I call them back and tell them this and leave a message - of which no one bothered to return my call.
And this is what it’s like to be a disabled small business owner. I have to often have to push through the pain to get my work done. I’m got out what I need to get out today and then I am coming home to take a break and some pain meds. The hard thing with chronic pain, chronic illnesses, and disabilities is it’s also very hard to predict when I’m going to have a pain flare, what the pain flare is gonna be like, and how long it’s going to last. They can last a day or two a couple hours a couple weeks a couple months you get what I’m saying here my current pain flare has been pretty steady since December I had about a month where I felt okay after I had my sacroiliac joint Cortisone injections in December but they wore off really fast and I’ve been in like a pretty steady pain flare for the past two months. We’re now in March so yeah.