I’m going to preface this blog post with I am a disabled neurodivergent woman with complex PTSD. I am 51 years old and I’ve worked in healthcare when I was younger, and I spend an inordinate amount of time at the doctors. Today, I was able to put something together because it’s no stranger to most women in how many times our issues are brushed away with what I thought was gender exclusion and bias from the patriarchy in that it’s 'just anxiety' or 'are you sure it’s not your period maybe you’re pregnant?' 'maybe if you lost 10 pounds and exercise more' and in my case that’s delayed my diagnosis and treatment by 12 years and caused even more problems over that time. This is part of why I haven't been writing as much for the past couple of months. CW/TW: chronic pain, opioid crisis.
I have psoriatic arthritis, which is an autoimmune disorder is a degenerative inflammatory arthritic condition and fibromyalgia -- in addition to other comorbidities, including now being diabetic and having high risk cardiac issues. Some of that is doctor related neglect. I had a really interesting conversation with my cishet boomer father who has a lot of similar health issues that I do because: genetics. I realize one thing we always hear the women’s stories of what men what the male doctors are saying and I finally put two and two together cause my dad was talking about his cardiac issues and the male doctors he saw wanted him to have open-heart surgery all these complex procedures like cardiac stents and the woman doctor he went to go see he said 'yeah, you can do all that, but you can just take a baby aspirin every day and be OK' and he was and is okay. I always assumed the based upon the experiences from other non-men will say cause I’m sure it affects women in addition to trans folks as well -- it’s the male doctors and it doesn’t matter your gender and it struck me, that’s the difference between male and female doctors.
What brought me into this conclusion I was having a minor dental issue. I have ongoing dental issues which is a comorbidity of the inflammatory arthritis causing bone loss and gum inflammation. I went in to do the planning for dental work. The male doctor refused to give me another temporary crown. He was glad that the one that I had finally fell out and then then proceeded to give me a treatment plan upwards of $4,000 out of pocket costs. I went in recently because I thought that one of the teeth chipped or because the crown broke last year onset tooth and I explained the predicament to the woman doctor of where I’m at with my shitty ACA insurance and finances and my concerns she’s like OK will do a complementary temporary crown until you can get this taken care of so they did the complementary temporary metal crown. What was the difference? Why did the male doctor refuse that treatment and suggest $4,000 worth out-of-pocket dental expenses? This is one of many MANY example that I have had to deal with recently. IT GETS WORSE.
My theory is that the male doctors are in it for the money and the patriarchal ego and do not give a shit about helping us or treating us. They want to make their money. They wanna have the ego stroke from expensive procedures, publish papers, speaking engagements, and all of that - while the the lady doctors actually want to help you and do just that by listening to your concerns. Male doctors don’t listen to you if they can’t push expensive procedures on you. They have no interest in helping you. I realize looking back at me trying to figure out what’s been going on with me for the last 12 years and even that’s it - the male doctors are the problem. I am in the process of firing every male doctor I have now if they’re not gonna listen to me, I’m requesting female doctors from here on in.
When I say it gets worse - I am infuriated that seemingly none of the three male doctors from "pain management" who have been doing cortisone injections on me for past two years, seem to have never looked at my damn chart to to notice that I have been pre-diabetic since 2018 and managing it well and an extensive family history of diabetes, but 'hey let’s just pump her full of Cortisone injections because oh God we don’t want her to turn into a an opioid addict,' Now, I’m diabetic and am a high risk cardiac patient due to some mild coronary artery calcification, hyperlipidemia, and hypertension coupled with a family history of cardiac issues. This changes my course of treatment in perpetuity, even though they might be able to reverse the diabetes back down into pre-diabetic range I’m never going to be able to take NSAIDs again nor Corticosteroids again which has left me hanging in terms of pain management.
But wait, there's more... because of course it got worse.
Having chronic pain from autoimmune inflammatory arthritis, fibromyalgia, and peripheral neuropathy means no medical doctor gives a shit about your pain or treating it and will just treat you like a junkie -- and the definitive final straw in firing every last male doctor on any of my care teams.
My "pain management" doctor wouldn’t even look at my damned chart and told me I was wasting his time -- if he can’t stick needles In me he is cutting off my Vicodin prescription in three months despite it being the only thing that has been actually helping my pain. I am once again infuriated with my "pain doctor" since the last time I saw him in April he seem pissy about the fact that my pain management was all over the place -- too many cooks in the kitchen -- so I spent weeks pulling together all of my medical records to discuss at my latest appointment with him. I have my binder full of 10 years of documentation and I wanted work out a plan to figure out what how to best treat my pain.
Apparently, he was just pissy with me for canceling a procedure that he lied to me about and did not consent to -- I was under the impression when I called to confirm that I was getting a test run of a numbing agent that was something that they could use instead of the Cortisone. Thankfully, I asked what exactly it was because he waved off any of my concerns like' oh don’t worry about it' and the motherfucker had me booked for the trial run of nerve block injections that you do prior to getting radio frequency ablation. I had that done already in 2022 and it didn't work at all and cost me about $8000 and it is documented in my binder that it didn’t work.
He proceeded to get more and more caustic told me I was wasting his time and he doesn’t treat patients just by writing him script for Vicodin so unless he can stick needles in me that he has no interest in keeping me as a patient. I’m not opposed to injections, however and rightfully so I have questions because I didn’t ask those questions of the other pain. Doctors were more than happily just to pop me full of Cortisone until now I’m diabetic and it seems that none of that was taken into consideration. I wanted to understand why I’m getting injections when my inflammatory pain bounces all over the place usually it’s in my in my sacroiliac joint and my hands to which he said pick a thing you want pain relief with and I sat there, dumbfounded as he’s pressuring me I’m like you’re asking me to choose between using my hands and being able to stand up and walk. How do you answer that?
What I am experiencing is the norm and stems from the over correction from the opioid crisis that is now leaving many chronic illness and pain patients untreated in the Lehigh Valley area and the doctors find it frustrating too. Unless we have structural defects that you can point to on a scan, no one wants to treat you. They will continue throw as many Band-Aids on bullet wounds until you just walk away or what feels more and more like likely ‘just go die’ cause we don’t wanna treat you or 'just go out on the street and score some fentanyl and tranq because we don’t want to treat you.' m gonna be bedbound and in a wheelchair probably in a year or so because everything is becoming more and more severe at a much faster pace than it had in the past.
I’m going to have to bounce over to the Geisinger health system and will spend my time driving hundreds of miles - its about a four hour drive round trip. I called Geisinger Pain Medicine and requested a referral from my primary care doctor for the new appointment, and from the sounds of it they could get me in at Danville by the end of June or early July. They have a really robust pain management program for ALL types of pain even 'damn my balls hurt' pain. They do interventional with injections, medications, and natural treatments too which is great.
So when I say it’s not all men, but it’s definitely all male doctors in my experience and I’m not apologizing. This is my lived experience. This is what the medical industry is doing, and there are some fields that it is really hard to find a woman doctor in like orthopedics and physiatry. I had to fire my last new therapist after one session for gaslighting me to tell me that expecting that I needed to lower my expectations to getting my pain managed that it’s never going to happen. My expectations are too high because doctors don’t care so I’m not going back to him because you don't gaslight someone who is in a medical crisis.
I’m not taking this shit anymore and I urge anyone reading this, regardless of your gender ditch your male doctors -- trust me they’re in it for the money for the fame and the ego. You are the least of their concerns. I have started reporting them as such. I reported the physiatry department to the health systems patient services department who handles such complaints. I will be reporting my last therapist to the Spring Health platform because he should not be a therapist. After I am done with my current "pain management" doctor, I will report him to the appropriate places and leave some spicy reviews for his practice.